"My Heart is Gone" by Isatu Jalloh ('20)

Come back to me, my love. All you gotta do is shake the casket. I promise I will open it and set you free. Please do something, wake me up from this dream. Please, wake up like you used to do every morning, and tell me that this is just a nightmare, that it's not real. Oh God, I still can’t believe you’re gone. I thought everything was going well in our lives. All these years you made me believe that you drank the elixir with me. But I guess you lied to me all along.

God, I’m so stupid, I believed every word you ever told me. I never doubted you...did you even loved me? For 30 years, you made me believe it, but deep down in your heart, my dream about immortality was nothing but a fantasy to you. At least you should’ve told me instead of betraying me-my love for you… but why?

I can’t be the rememberer, my heart will be forever lonely. I’ll be forever damaged. Relying too much on my memories will consume me. Well, I will live for eternity but certainly not in the same form. I could sink into my own body… I even started to grow horns, and God knows what I will become once I’m fully transformed. I need to let go for the sake of my soul. I want to let go, but I can’t, not know, not ever.

I suppose it’s enough. I should leave. Soon after I am fully transformed, all that will be left in me will be the memories. But your love will be forever buried in me. I hope you come visit me in my dreams. Goodbye, John.