It’s dark. All we see is Mouth, upstage right. Man is in his urn downstage center. Ru is in the corner, downstage left. There’s a light that goes to each character as they speak. But whenever they are talking, there's no eye contact. Rapid talking.
Mouth: Jesus’ alleged birthday…She confessed…He had rejected her…It didn’t matter…Those puny feelings Cupid created… Ha!...Not important… [Good Laugh] She won’t ever giv-… What?!...No...She!... She!...
Man: She seemed weird. She was numb to certain things. She always referred to herself in the third person. Always in denial. As if her past never existed. Nut.
Ru: (Appalled) Oh! Does she not realize?
Mouth: She kept away… for a while… then he saw her… Imagine!... he seeing her again!... She wondered… Did he recognize her?… No shock there… It has been mont- What?.. A year?!... Good God!... She did meant it… When she said it… Maybe... She's-... What?... No!... How many times do I have to tell you?!... She!
Man: A bit unstable. I did not want to break her heart. If she acknowledged she had one. Her mind is the kind of puzzle whose pieces you will never find. I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t. (Light goes to Ru. She whispers. Light goes back to Man. He gasps.) Really? That’s what happened?
Mouth: No love of any kind... Spared that... Friendless... Loverless...
Man: I saw her a couple of months ago. I thought I said everything I needed to say. I don’t bother myself with the likes of her. Not worth it. I just kept walking. I think she did the same. She even asked the bartender what the name of the bar was. Although, perhaps it wasn't acting. She used to do that too; she seemed to be unaware of both space and time: not knowing where and when she was. Poor girl. I pity her. Some kind of sorrow for her misfortune. Poor creature.
Ru: Puts finger to her lips.
Mouth: Wanting to be friends...He invited her... With people being unfamiliar with... "Oh, how wonderful you look"... They all said to her... [Good Laugh]... Despicable environment...Why?... What a pest!... Running… She came... Scared... She saw... Him toying with another fool... She conquered!... Felt nothing... No suffering... Not the slightest... Poor bitch... Just another shoulder to cry on... Ha!... She learned.... Don't trust the cold blooded... Don't believe in their lies... If they get to love you, they won’t leave you alive... As for her, she is fine-.. She!
Man: I haven’t seen her since then. I wonder what happened to her. Maybe she went on a trip to Spain and met other people. Yes. Getting over her issues. Sipping white peach sangria. I prefer Lipton tea. Perhaps she met another fine gentleman who’s making her happy. That seems about right.
Ru: Let us not speak.
Mouth: It’s like a disease!... Sweethearts… Face to Face… She feels sick… She sees the vehement fire in their eyes… But unlike those Hollywood clichés… She wasn’t torn apart… Still… Spare that…She won’t feel aga--…. What?... Who?... She!... Anyway!...The only acquaintance she ever knew… The one closest to being called a friend… She never spoke to her again.
Man: I’ve heard a friend of mine invited her to the party. It never occurred to me that I would talk to her again. It was awkward. Oh! Baby! She wasn’t capable of socializing with anyone. Nothing serious happened between us, anyway. We played. It was fun. That’s it. I also heard she was set up by someone who had an interest on me. No one told me who. Maybe it was a lie. Maybe it was a truth. Perhaps we will never know. Well, I still have my friend. I will go see her right now.
Ru: Grins. Puts finger to her lips.
End of play.
"Last Christmas..." is a collage play that uses text and characters from "Not I," "Play," and "Come and Go," all by Samuel Beckett.