"Which of the Two?" by Joselyn Guaman ('18)

Where is he? Where did he go? He’s been missing for a year now, nobody ever found him. Dead or alive he is still missing. He was my twin.

Who was the oldest?

I still can’t forget how it happened. Every now and then it comes back to me.

That day we watched the sunset as we did ever since we were little, except he was different. He had an empty look in his face, no emotions… wasn’t happy, wasn’t sad. His eyes told me he wasn’t there. I asked him what was wrong and he simply smiled and kept looking at the sunset. He was scaring me so I spoke no more about it. As soon as the sunset finished I saw it… I saw it in him… his determination, his anger, his anxiety. I didn’t want to know! I didn’t need to know! He attacked me! He said I was the reason why his dreams couldn’t come true, I was to blame for his suffering and that only one dream could come true… that he could no longer be by my side. Why did he do that? He was the only one that understood me, he was the only one who I trusted... I didn’t mean to do it, I didn’t do it… he was the one… he is to blame. Was I the oldest? Or was he the oldest? Who am I? Where am I? He’s still missing… nobody could find him. No dream came true.