"Part 3: No More Southern Gothic!" by Syed Maudud E Rabbi ('19)


            She rolled on her bed a couple times, and a couple-more, trying desperately to fall asleep. Suddenly, she saw a pair of eyes glowing in the dark. “Who’s there? Come out!”
Someone turned on the lights.  Two persons appeared- both-of- them grimly dressed in 18th Century clothes.
“ Edgar-Allen-Poe!!!”
“Yes, Miss Stephanie Meyer it’s me.”
“And you are?”
The other guy is irritated. With his Victorian accent he exclaims, “I’m Dracula! For Christs-Sake! (A part of his face burns for taking the name) God-Dammit!! (Now, his face is on fire)
Edgar Allen Poe jumps a couple of times reaching high to extinguish the flame.
“ Why are you guys here?”
“To show you how creepy it is to be there when someone is actually sleeping!”
Dracula starts angrily, “You-don’t-even, know Dracula! How-on-earth, thee-mortal decideth to write a, Vamp-novel?”
“Well, I’m mad too! You guys never even tried giving me a chance! You guys don’t scare me!
Costume-party buffoons!”
“Oh-pleeease, we aren’t here to scare you. Maybe once-upon a midnight-dreary folks tried to frighten each-other in Halloween, but now it’s about being humorous and making-a-point.”
“But…but…I could’ve had the Nobel! Or atleast the Mc-‘Arthur’-Genius-Grant! How did
Te-ne-he-se-Coats win-but-not I?”
“Simple, He’s an Aethist…aaand…he-lives-in-Paris. Have you even read know the unwritten-guidelines how we award these?”
“Take-careth and by-the-way we ate your pizza.”
“ YOU-WHAAT?? NO ONE Touches…touches-my…. Pizzzaaaa!” Stephanie screamed and shouted-turning-into a Werewolf -imprinting on their children.
They lived Creepily-ever-after.