It’s Esha, the name I perfect and the other person I am more comfortable being and like being. When Esha is present, my laughter, my happiness, and my world comes into question about how genuine I actually I am or not. I try presenting myself as a hard working college student, a future doctor, but all of that is in vain when Esha comes around and I start acting like a child without any cares, dancing around the house like a madman, jumping around places. And then I come around and shout at me to stop fooling around and be serious, act mature. Esha seems to understand that it’s okay to not take life so seriously and squeeze all the juice out of it for success, for fame, and for wealth. Esha thinks it’s okay to act childish and have fun with life while you’re at it and that life doesn’t always have to be about striving to make something happen. But here I am, always trying to find something to do, thinking about how I can bring a change to this world. I tend to forget that in order to make something or someone happy, I need to be happy myself first. I tend to forget that it’s necessary to appreciate what’s around me and understand all the perspectives of it so I can give back properly. But the problem is wherever I try to give myself into Esha, that real world comes and smacks me in the face saying: it’s not okay to be the way I truly want to be and that there are expectations to be met. As I try to give myself up to Esha, I get stopped by the people who expect better from me stop me.